Babies

I found out this morning that I am now a thrice Auntie and the two most recent additions to my brood have come in the last four weeks. Which has all been very exciting. Both are little girls and both born with lots of hair! (Which I happen to think is very cute in a baby)

But what's so nice about all of this is that I have been learning (a little) about pregnancy and birth from my sisters. Which both fascinates and scares the s**t out of me. I think pregnancy is such a miracle and all that the body does is amazing. There was a time when I thought about midwifery but I think I'm not cut out for it. Although getting to help with the experience of bringing new babies in the world every day, wow. So for now I shall stick with the delight of babies without actually having one.

This is because I don't think that just yet I am at that baby stage. In fact I'm more than certain I'm not ready at the moment. There are too many other things I want to do first, which is not to say I don't ever want to have babies but not just yet.

It gets you thinking though, seeing other people's babies, especially those related to me, makes me think about my own one day...

Working through the tough times

Things have been a little tougher than normal in the Wife in the City household recently. There's something on the horizon which is taking a lot of thinking and is quite big. And big stuff tends to have an impact on relationships. J and I deal with things in different ways. I talk, talk, talk and work through things by talking aloud (sometimes this gets me in trouble but most of the time it works for me). He doesn't talk (until I piss him off so much by niggling he finally breaks, which is never a good way to extract information). But we also focus on different aspects so get caught in that moment of mis-click where you're both aiming for the same point via a different path and those paths sure as hell don't cross.

The thing is we're married. We got married to work together through big and tough things (or a big and scary as trademarked by Peonies). And we're working through it. I cry and he hugs me close and tells me it'll all be okay. Or we work through how it'll be okay and what the options are. But it's hard, in all the time we've been together (almost eight years) things have always been relatively easy, university, jobs, family, living. So having a challenge is probably good for us but it's also unchartered territory, and as such just takes a bit of getting used to.

And when we have a tough week and come out of it smiling I know we'll be okay. Because we have invested in this relationship too much for it not to be okay. And because I love J too much not to work through a slightly tougher than normal time.

And then soon I'll finally share this thing which has been chewing at us. Until then my apologies for horribly cryptic posts. And hopefully I'll be perkier after we return from Paris this weekend!

Another year older

Yesterday was my birthday so I celebrated with a wee party for a few friends. It was a great way to celebrate turning older, although at times I'm still like a child when it comes to my excitement for my birthday!

Birthday's are always a time to reflect a little, at the year that has just passed and at what the future may hold and I'm hoping that this next year will be exciting! In fact I'm pretty sure it will be. That thing I was worrying about a while back, well stuff is happening and hopefully it'll be good news. I'll be sure to let you know!

Clouds

I love the way the clouds look when you're flying. Like a huge fluffy carpet ready to run over...

Sometimes this is where my head is but then everyone needs a little time with their head in the clouds.

Wedding epiphany

J and I were at a wedding in Germany this weekend, one of a close friend of J's and we had a wonderful time but what I wanted to write about here was why (in my opinion) we had a wonderful time and the epiphany I had about what makes a wedding a GREAT wedding.

This will, I suspect, come of no surprise to most of you but here are the two things I realised (as a guest) that make a wedding truly wonderful:

1. The bride and groom really have fun. They smile, laugh, greet guests with delight and spread infectious joy.
2. The bride and groom have the day they want, not the one that all the other involved parties want...

And there we have it. The very very simplified recipe to a great day. Or at least with both of these you've got a pretty good chance of having a wonderful wedding and your guests enjoying it too!

Being Unhealthy

This week has not been a good week for being healthy. I have been out three nights on the trot and am really feeling it. Nowadays I really cannot take the pace any more.

I really must try harder. Which is why I'm writing this post. Having it written down often makes one think about it more and hopefully take more action.

So here is my plan:

1. Schedule nights in rather than out
2. Make a conscious effort not to snack between meals on crisps and chocolate and think about all I am eating
3. Try and drink less and less often
4. Start doing yoga at home and find another class to attend during the week

I'm hoping that if I can start making little changes and feeling more healthy then it'll become habit to be better. And once it's habit then hopefully I can introduce even better habits and proceed on an upward trajectory, not an up and down and sometimes spiralling trajectory...

Having the time to stop

This weekend we had nothing planned, nothing at all. And for once I was delighted (I'm a planner as well as a worrier). Things have been busy, work for both of us has been busy and we've had functions booked in for weekday evenings and weekends for quite a while now. So much so that I got ill at the beginning of the week, my body's way of telling me to slow down and relax. So I slept most of Monday.

And then this weekend. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Bliss.

We have made the most of it, cooking most of yesterday, making Lebanese, some of my favourite food, but time consuming to do properly. Making ice cream, from scratch with no machine and then just sitting and not doing.

This weekend has made me realise the value of stopping. Of sitting down together, sometimes in silence, sometimes chewing the cud about whatever is on our mind. We've had the time to appreciate all we have, how lucky we are to have each other and all else that we have.

What joy nothing sometimes is...

Thoughts on friendship

I saw a couple of old friends recently on a couple of separate occasions, both of whom I haven't seen for a few months but who I am close to and have been close to in the past. But it got me to thinking, both these girls had no idea about something which right now to me is important and having a big effect on my life. Something which somehow they were unaware of. How had they missed this? Because I hadn't seen them or because our friendship had changed.

I know friendships change, I know they wax and wane and someone who is close at a time in your life might not be so close at another time. Often due to circumstances. But for some reason I always feel a little confused as to why these thing happen.

I also know that relationships need to be worked at but it's a fine balance between both parties working at it and one party putting more effort in. I'm never sure when to cut the effort off. Is a past friendship something which should always be worked at or do I need to accept when a friendship has passed that that's what happened and there are always plenty more opportunities to build relationships and new friendships.

It's something I have found myself pondering on as I've grown up and changed, life has changed, relationships have changed and so have friendships. I guess though that throughout it all I've always understood the precious value of friends, be they bloggers, colleagues or childhood friends.

The fear of bra shopping...

I finally plucked up the courage to go bra shopping today, something I've needed to do for a while... And it got me to thinking, why am I so scared of asking for help with fitting my bra?

I tried my normal tactic, picking up some styles I like in the approximate size I think I am. Five bras later and none of them fitted. So I stood in the changing rooms and wondered if I should go home and try again another day. And then a deep breath I walked out and asked for help.

For some reason the very idea is one which I get slightly unsettled by. Even though I know I need to get some advice and buy the right size I still shy away from it and have a drawer full of semi-fitting bras.

It also made me think about all those statistics of 90% of women wearing the wrong sized bra, how did this come to be? Or is that just marketing puff. When did we not get taught how to shop for the right size. Who is to blame?!

Should there be compulsary fitting with every new purchase to try and avoid this. Should we be taught at school the importance of buying the right size. And then almost as importantly, how is it right that even once you have been sized different brands fit in different ways. I know this brand size difference is the same for clothes as well as underwear but it just doesn't seem right that it's like this.

Thankfully Selfridges have lots of very helpful and lovely staff and a lady arrived to help me with my fitting. She was very sweet and I've managed to find two bras which actually fit! Now to relax until the next time...

Things I do when my husband is away...

J is away for a few days and it got me to thinking how I change my behaviour when he's not around and so I thought it might be fun to share and see what others do/don't do when other halves go missing...

I watch trashy TV and don't feel guilty
I stay up later than I should to try and make myself tired enough to sleep
I eat on the sofa instead of at the table
I cook mushrooms (J hates mushrooms, which is very upsetting, although oddly enough he'll eat Morels...)
I stay late at work as there's nothing to go home for
I think of people to call to talk to because I miss coming home and telling him all about my day
I try and catch up on blogging!
I leave the washing up overnight
I miss him...

So now pray tell, what do you do when your other half isn't around?

Office move

We've moved offices and I now have a different position in a different office. It's odd, nice to change but strange to be somewhere different. I am of course slightly resistant to it. But I think the change will be good. It's already changed some of my working practices, for the better I think, and I think it will do so more over the coming months.

However it has also made me have much less time for blogging so my apologies for my quietness. I am also recovering a far too heavy week last week with too much drinking. My body is definitely telling me to slow down.

More soon... Once I've caught up on my greens and my sleep :)

Update - Thoughts on the pill

Pretty much a month ago I wrote quite a long post about my thoughts on the pill. You guys were amazing and gave me lots to think about in your lovely comments. And I think I also promised an update when I had given more thought to what to do next. So here we are an update!

I went to see a lovely nurse at the family planning clinic who talked me through my options and allowed me to talk about my opinions and my experiences. Really a girl you are completely right that a family planning clinic is the right place to go for contraceptive advice.

And so on Friday I went back to the same clinic and had a Mirena IUS put in. The Mirena is a coil but is plastic with some progestergen in it which releases slowly over 5 years. So I now don't have to worry about contraception until 2015! My decision to get the coil was mainly because I didn't want to still be on the pill, as I had said it was giving me trouble, and also because I don't plan on having kids anytime soon.

It hurts though, to get it put in. If you do decide to do it take strong painkillers first. I wish I had done this, it would have made it a little easier. But the doctor was great, very supportive, talked me through it all and really made me feel at ease.

Right now it's still a little odd feeling, I'm still getting slight cramps, much better than yesterday and Friday afternoon and hopefully tomorrow will continue to improve. If anyone has got one in any thoughts on how long it took them to settle in would be great. I'll start to get concerned on Tuesday/Wednesday if it still doesn't feel right.

Anyhow, thank-you again for all your support, I truly appreciate all of you peeps who read, comment and come along on this journey with me.

Vote! Vote like a stoat!

Stoat from It's nature

So today is finally polling day for the UK. It feels a long time coming... But this means it's time to exercise our democratic right. So go, go all those who can and cast your vote. Because this could be it for another 5 years...

It will be very interesting to see what comes of the election tomorrow. I am off to an election reception in the evening and we'll see what happens on Friday!

Things I would like to do...

1. Spend a weekend in Paris looking at markets, dreaming by the Seine and eating and drinking yummy French food and wine (never properly done this so am currently hanging my head in shame)
2. Visit Kew gardens and come back to London by boat
3. Make creme caramel
4. Learn how to fillet a fish
5. Finish my two quilts, I have started the second one, but not yet finished the first...
6. Do more yoga (am really enjoying the feeling at the end of a yoga class and think this could be the way forward for me)

Just a few of the things going through my head today. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at work and have been pants at commenting on other blogs of late. So much I want to say in a comment and then I decide I can't say it right so don't say anything, then feel guilty, then do more work.

Here's to the long weekend, maybe I can acheive number 3 this weekend!

Thoughts and happenings

Photo from Baby Picture This

Today I feel like I need this photo full of hope and spring. I have a spring cold and am feeling revolting and it's suddenly brisk outside again and not warm like it should be. Spring seems to be ebbing and flowing instead of powering on and I am bored of the cold and ready to have my skin warmed by the sunshine.

And then a little something else, far away on the horizon which is taking up a lot of my thinking time right now but which I just cannot share about yet. Probably not for a few months anyhow. But I wanted to mention it as it feels better to have told that there is something, even if not what!

And finally Baby Picture This today announced that she is planning on setting up an Etsy shop. Very very exciting as she is a hugely talented photographer (see above photo) and I think her shop will be absolutely delightful.

Thoughts on the pill - warning long post!

I have wanted to write this post for a while now but was never quite sure of how so here goes...

I am on the combined contraceptive pill and have been now for about six years. This is the third pill I've been on and for the most part I have been very happy with it. However of late things have been beginning to change (moods, shape etc) and I've been thinking of changing contraceptive type. I have also been giving some thought to the information we are given about the pill.

The first pill I was on was Microgynon, at first it was fine, then I started to cry - a lot - and I would also cry when it was highly inappropriate to, like when getting an answer wrong in a university class. I also started to get angrier, J and I would have rows (we argue but never shout and I started shouting), these were generally fueled by alcohol I'll admit but I'm normally a sleepy drunk not a shouty drunk.

I never connected my change in behaviour to the pill. Because when I was prescribed it no-one told me to watch for it. Until talking to my middle sister and telling her about the problems I was having and she suggested it might be the pill. To be honest I was pretty surprised but went along to the Dr's and got a change of pill and lo and behold I changed too.

I think this was when I started to get a little surprised about all the things I wasn't ever told to look out for. Also the lack of checks before I was prescribed the pill (how prone one is to depression/anxiety for example). I just asked for it and was given it. I also wasn't aware of the multitude of pills available and that it was easy to change and try them until you found one you were happy with.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that were it not for being lucky and having a sister I'm close to who alerted me to the effects of the pill I wouldn't have been aware that something I was taking every day could affect me so much.

So coming full circle I'm now thinking of looking at alternatives to the pill. I feel like my body needs a change.

Have any of you experienced anything similar on the pill? Do you have any suggestions on alternatives? Thoughts in general?

29 gifts - update

So somehow the 29 days is over and my gift giving was poor to say the least. I did manage a few cards, and still have many more to send if anyone is interested. I gave my sister some clothes and I tried to make an effort to give more compliments and support. I think there were some others but nothing too exciting.

I think overall it was a fun way to try and make a small change in the way you behave. And I hope it's worked. I do find myself saying compliments now instead of just thinking them. And I do think of how I can give people gifts to help cheer them up when I feel like that's the right thing to do.

Plus it really made me think about giving. Partly why I agreed to go ahead and be a school governor, as a way of giving my time to help govern a school. I shall try and build on this small step by thinking more about ways I can give in the future.

Thanks for the support in this small endeavor and here's to small changes to forge a better path!

Bread

First apologies for the appaling picture quality but I somehow wanted to show you the bread I made on the weekend. Having not made bread since I was a little girl and had mummy's know how to guide me on the way I was a little concerned as to how it may turn out. I also had foolishly decided that I was to serve this to my dinner guests as I had not form of biscuit to go with my cheese.

It was great fun making it, feeling the lovely dough between your fingers is just wonderful and working the dough as you knead it makes both your hands and head feel better. Kneading while thinking is something not to underestimated. And the pride when it came out of the oven, was hollow when knocked from the bottom and tasted like bread!

I used a recipe from The Imaginary Cafe and it was both simple and successful and so now highly recommended from myself also. I then tried a slight variation on Sunday having discussed with sister recommendations for making it and purchasing a loaf tin. I am yet to try my next loaf but it looks better and I am looking forward to giving it a shot.

So there we are, all my quietness and then all I've been up to is making bread!

Orchids and Absence

I'll start with an apology for my absence, I've been away from London for a few days and have enjoyed being fully away. Time just to think and relax has been gratefully received. Lots more news to catch up on, I've been taking lots of photos too so a few of those to share. Oh and very excitingly one of my cards has reached it's destination, so when I'm back I shall get on with sending more out and trying to give more gifts.

Hope you're all well. M x

Monday thoughts

I have become rather entranced by Innocent's veg pots. These little pots of goodness give me two of my veg a day and are low in fat. Wonderful! Plus they taste pretty good.

I managed to give my first proper gift yesterday, I gave my sister a babygro I picked up in Buenos Aires. This is not as random as it sounds as my sister is 19 weeks pregnant. Very pleased to have given my first 'real' gift!

I still ache from Thursday evening. I've started Pole Dancing again, this time Level 2, and the leap in difficulty is tough. But hopefully it'll help tone me a little bit more!

The sunshine this morning lifted my heart. As did the heads of the crocus beginning to show in St James Park. I am hoping this really does herald the beginning of spring!

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.